This probably has been the toughest few weeks I have ever had to go through. I have been lucky to have not lost many people I care about. I lost my grandfather at 13, and my best friend when I was 10. Loss is different as you go through life and get older, and you handle it different every time. Almost three weeks ago we had to do one of the hardest things Ive had to make a decision on. We had to put my dog to rest. We knew the time was coming, she was almost 14, and as happy, and as healthy as she made herself out to be, something wasn't right. She had trouble breathing the last little while. When we took her in that day, it had gotten worse just over night. They figured it was lung cancer. They said they could give her pills that would help, but not perfectly and for who knows how long. We did what was best for her, I couldn't see her suffer. I didnt think losing a pet could be this difficult. I miss her like crazy! She was the bestfriend a girl could ask for. But while it is still incredibly hard, Im thankful for the things that have been happening to keep my mind going. Work has been surprisingly helpful keeping me busy at this time of year. Friends have constantly been there, trying to keep me occupied, one is taking me to a concert this coming week for a little stress release. Tonight I went to see Chantal Kreviazuk, who is incredible!! And music really does help me through each day, the power of it is amazing. My upcoming trip has me so excited that I can't help but be glad thinking about it, helps when I start to feel sad again. I just think that Im getting away from here for a bit, and going to a place that is going to be happy, and fun, and filled with incredible people. SGP and the chat is such a great place to be; amazing people. My family has been awesome, its been hard on them, somedays I think its harder on them than me, but we are all going through it together. They continue to talk about her in good light, and talk about the funny things she did. She had such a fun personality, she would greet me everyday with a smile-literally, some thought she was showing her teeth in a mean way, but there were no growls about it, it was a full grin. I also keep hoping that if I continue to talk about her myself that it will get easier. For a little bit it felt that the days got more difficult. I guess the times like right now, where its quiet, and late, and no one around, is when I miss her most, I cant just go out to her bed and say hello, sit with her, or share a bowl of popcorn. But it will get easier, the happiness around me will continue to uplift my spirits, and the happy memories I have with my dog will continue to warm my heart. Im really thankful for everything and everyone around me, I think I would be lost without all this.
