Ghost of my former self

Ghosts interest me, but not when they are of my former self. That is the only time I am afraid of them. I think I would rather have a poltergeist rummaging around my kitchen. My own ghost has followed me around for the past 4 years, or maybe even more. Haunting me, telling me what I used to be capable of. She walked behind me in a baseball uniform, with a pencil behind her ear, charcoal on her fingers gripping a novel, and a guitar slung over her back. She threw quick witted comments in my ear. I began to ignore her, put up a wall so I could not hear about what I had left behind. Things that I did that were important to me; music, art, sports, school. I still enjoyed music, and art, but it wasn't quite the same. Somehow as I moved forward in life, she remained behind. I didn't read, I didn't finish my college program, I felt like I forgot how to draw, I slowly forgot how to play the guitar, and baseball was no longer a game I played. It's scary for me to think that I left that, and tried not to think about it. I started a different college program 3 years ago, which was something that I was not really interested in, but my job wanted me to do it so I went. But in this last year I had the urge that I really did want to finish it, I didn't want to quit like I had before. I think that's when things started coming back in to place again. She returned. She banged on the wall I put up, wanting me to let her in. I was still hesitant. What if she taunted and I still couldn't do it. Things have inspired me in the last little while that allowed me to let her knock that wall down. The excitement that I was nearing the end of my apprenticeship, that I was going to complete it. A greatness I came upon that showed me that things are possible, to believe, that there are others out there setting out and getting what they want accomplished. I've been reminded of the power of words. I listen to music more intently. I see the beauty in the arts more clearly again. I've put my cleats back on my feet and I'm ready to run. Not sure where I am running to, but I can do this now. Have you ever seen Ghost Whisperer? When Jim dies and his ghost hops in to another man's body. This ghost is always there trying to remind him of who he is, but the body and mind of Sam creates a barrier. He feels like some things are familiar but not sure why, he battles with himself to figure out who he is. And then one day it just all comes in to focus, the ghost of Jim is who he really is, he is now the Jim he was before (aside from the new body of course). This is sort of how I have felt, and now that I am getting all that back, I don't have to fight a barrier, the ghost no longer can follow me. We are getting reaquainted. I'm no longer afraid to have her sneaking behind me, so it is safe to venture. That is exactly what I am going to do! I am going to go, see, do, listen, and have a blast! Don't think I'll wear my cleats however, they aren't as comfy as they used to be!

Struttin' and Singin'

I'm walking along, singing, beboppin' away, doin my strut, what's being played on my 'pod to make me do this? It could almost be anything! There's a long list that makes me just want to pick up the beat and lay it down on the sidewalk, possibly dance along the streets, shout out the lyrics!

Pain to Kill, I Wanna Do It All, Getting There, In My Next Life-Terri Clark
I love Rock & Roll, Hit Me With Your Best Shot-Pat Benatar
Bitch-Meredith Brooks
Hella Good, Spiderwebs, Excuse Me Mr-No Doubt
Walk Like An Egyptian, Manic Monday-The Bangles
Cat Scratch Fever-Ted Nugent
Sitting, Waiting, Wishing-Jack Johnson
These Boots Are Made For Walking-Nancy Sinatra
Walking After Midnight-Patsy Cline, (also Terri Clark's rendition)
Red High Heels-Kellie Pickler
I'm Outta Here-Shania Twain
The More Boys I Meet-Carrie Underwood
Sugar, Sugar-The Archies
9 to 5-Dolly Parton
Me and Bobby Mcgee-Janis Joplin (also Dolly Parton and Loretta Lynn)
Black Betty-Ram Jam
Mammia Mia, Take A Chance On Me-Abba
One Way Ticket-Leanne Rimes
Alberta Bound-Paul Brandt
Shout-The Isley Brothers
Walk Away, Miss Independant-Kelly Clarkson
Girls Night Out-The Judds
Halo-Bethany Joy Galeotti
Head Over Feet, Ironic, You Oughta Know-Alanis Morissette
Wonderwall-Oasis
Buddy Holly-Weezer
There's Your Trouble, Ready To Run, Taking The Long Way-Dixie Chicks
My Girl-Wolfman Jack
Heaven On Earth-Belinda Carlisle
Fancy-Reba
And of course I must add the Spice Girls. Most of their songs join me on my happy stride. Never Give Up On The Good Times, Stop, Wannabe, Do It, Move Over...

Oh there are probably plenty more! Maybe Ill need a side B, or playlist 2, or a to be continued...

A Girls Night Out with Holly Woods & Toronto

Last night was one of those nights that really will stand out. I stopped by a local pub to have dinner with my parents and fellow car club members who were there waiting to see a band; Toronto. I am always up for music, even music from the 80's. I wasn't planning on staying long, but once Holly Woods stood up to the mic, there was no leaving. Her voice reached every level of awesome. She could wail! That high pitch that could shatter glass, but still sounded unbelievable. She was funny, sweet, and could still rock after a hip replacement! Her sound is like Pat Benatar meets Heart, with a hint of Cyndie Lauper. Actually, her band disbanded in the mid 80's and she was excited and moved on with her solo career moving to Atlanta. One song of theirs had never been released anywhere; 'What about love?'. Holly said she was pulling out of her driveway one day and it came on the radio, she was amazed thinking it was Toronto! That was until it got to the chorus and realized it wasn't her, it was Heart. 'Oh my god, they stole my fucking song' is what she said. But she laughed about it, and told us she was happy and has spoken with the Wilson sisters and is proud. [I came home and read about her, and Wiki also compares her to P.Benatar and Heart.] The guitar player she had with her was the lead singer of Prism, Al Harlow, also a funny man. A friend of mine is really close with Prism, so he came and sat and chatted for a bit which was super cool. Her bass player Lisa Rae Simons was also incredible, not only on the bass but vocally as well. The keyboard player and drummer have been in the industry for years as well. One was with the band Zingo, which his fellow member moved on from to work with Bryan Adams. The talent and music history between all these musicians is incredible. I was in awe!

After a bit I went over and sat with Holly and L.Rae, got my picture taken, and chatted for a bit. Holly talked about how she came to be both from the US, and spent most of her growing years in Canada. She said she was from Durham, North Carolina, and that sparked even more in me. Being that I would really love to get there, not just to see, but UNCW is really where I want to be to start a film career. L.Rae said if there was anything I wanted to know about NC that I should sit and chat it up with Holly. I think we could have sat there all night, but they were getting ready to pack up.

Al on the guitar reminded me of how much I love that instrument, and how much I miss playing it. When he started playing a solo, I could focus only on the guitar, like it called to me, and nothing else was on stage. There wasnt even a stage, just music coming from the strings and his fingers. It makes me really want to pick up my Fender again.

They said it was great to see someone younger at one of their shows, my mom said that sometimes I still like to hang out with my parents, I told them that I just really enjoy good music. Thinking about NC and music and inspiration brings me to SGP. A lot of things that inspire me really came together last night in a round-about way. I am in full support of anyone, and anything that can reach to me, lift me, and inspire me. I purchased 3 cd's, two of which will probably never get played as they were signed, I just wanted to show them my appreciation. With SGP I did this with ordering a t-shirt. I just want to help these people, give them support, in any way, as they do so much for me! Its the next morning and Im still excited and feeling the vibe!

It should now be called Great Friday!

The secret from yesterday was revealed. I woke up, logged on, and there it was!! Truly is a Good Friday! How awesome are the t-shirts! They look amazing, cant wait for mine to arrive! Hopefully it fits! YAY! Im so excited that we can actually physically support Southern Gothic, and help get camera's rolling for Pedestrian by purchasing one!
Also, the pictures Conrad, Hil's brother, took are fantabulous! Beautiful photographs!

Also, the message in a bottle, Im hoping for the end of april, beginning of may to get it sent. There are some new people in the crew, so Im putting this out to them too if they would like to join in and send something to put in the bottle for SGP.
For email messages/scanned messages- jaclyne.selvig@gmail.com
For handwritten:
Jaclyne Selvig
1501 15th Avenue South
Lethbridge Alberta
T1K-0W6
Canada

The Circus!

I mention previously that I am a concert junkie. Ill go see anything and everything. This week was probably one of the most hyped up, most talked about concerts, next to the Spice Girls Reunion Tour, that I've been to. My friends and I packed up and headed North to see Britney Spears' Circus. It was so nice to get away, take a break from the stress of work and tests. It was a fun weekend all the way around. West Edmonton mall is always fun, did some shopping, saw the sea lion (cute!), and hit up the Galaxyland amusement park. We boarded most rides, except I sort of skipped the rollercoaster. I'm sort of glad I did because we did a simulated 'log' ride (we were logs being transported) with the 3d glasses and the chairs that move along to make you feel like you are actually there, and that didn't sit so well with me, so I can imagine what the big rollercoaster would be like. One day, one day. Driving in the big cities is always maddening! I've learned that you should never rely on the free map the hotel gives you in their brochures, and that GPS' are becoming a neccessity and it will not be long before I own one. The signs in Edmonton are nuts! The signs for the main roads that are upcoming, are right at the turning point, they give you no warning. And one ways-holy man! I think I got a few grey hairs from driving. But we came to expect this and gave ourselves lots of time so that it didn't make us run late getting anywhere. We also made sure that we were not going to drive to the Colissium, I love undergroud transit! It was all exciting though, met my cousins for dinner who I don't get to see often. The one is pregnant, and we were joking about how she wanted to go to the concert, but thought it was probably best if she didn't incase Mr Jaxson decided to make his early arrival. The next morning, day of the concert, she texted me...she was on her way to the hospital! Yay!
The concert, many people, everywhere! Not nearly as crazy as the Spice Girls though. Pussycat Dolls were pretty good, they seemed excited to be up there, interacted with the crowd, they didn't sound so lipsynched, which is good. Then there was Britney. Great show, the first 15-20 minutes was circus acts; hulahoops, unicycles, acrobattic ninjas. Britney decended from the rafters, the crowd went crazy. She was wheeled around in a cage and the stage circus rings were big targets, she floated from an umbrella, hung out in picture frames, did some Bollywood dancing-so overall it was pretty entertaining. However, she sounded very lipsynched. It basically sounded like I handed the sound man my cd and they put it in. So that part was kind of disappointing. And the setlist was not quite what I thought it was going to be either, I was thinking there would be more of her older songs, but there was only 4 or 5 I think. BUT it was still Britney Spears! So her being there was pretty incredible! She's been through a lot, and she's making a turn around, I do have a lot of respect for her.
The time went by so fast! I called my cousin the next morning, no baby yet, she was still waiting. So before hitting the return lane home, we stopped to see her. That was nice again, hoping for the best for her!
The whole trip was like a circus, it was fast, crazy, and a lot of fun. It's always nice to get away, returning home to exams, unexpected drama, and work is never exciting....but it makes me appreciate those fun moments so much more!

This Old House

I never really thought about my house having history, but after chatting in the blog a couple days ago about my findings of a skeleton key I realize it does. I knew about all these little things inside it, but never thought about them all at once. The house was built in the mid 30's, but had a face lift about 15 years ago. The basement was done first, thank goodness! The stairs going down were dark, and creeky, the old worn carpeted kind. When you neared the bottom you could hear the growl of the furnace. I dared not look towards it, the fiery glow in its throat would cast spooky shadows on the wall. Making the normal household objects almost come to life. I felt like they would nearly be able to reach out and grab me, sucking my in to the shadows with it. It would send shivers down my spine, and I would turn around and go running back up the stairs. Next to get done was my bedroom, which is now the living room. A door from the dining room swung in to a platform, and three steps going down. It was massive! I loved it, my own little house. Under the stairs were my treasures, which at 5 was a plush Popples, my doll freckles, and some other random toys I thought were grand. When we took apart the walls, it made sense as to why this room was so long and narrow. The wall that face the end of the drive way was not a wall, but barn doors, I actually had been living in the previous owners garage. They still had the hinges and could be swung out on the the driveway.
The wall paper in the living room, in my opinion, belonged downstairs with the creepy furnace. The patterns were done in silver, and when you looked closely they looked like hundreds of devil faces each about the size of a small hand. I tried to find a picture of one, but no such luck.
Off the living room was the front entry, when we took it apart, the secrets of the house started to be told. Between the walls of the door was an old envelope addressed to a previous owner, in it was an old Christmas card. Beneath the floor of the porch was a hollow space, and when we opened it up we found a key. I loved this part, it was a skeleton key! Somewhat spooky lying in the bottom of a deep hole, but so many stories could lie with it.
Another odd object was found in the cabinet the fridge sat in, around back and up on the ceiling was a secret hole, in it was a small bullet. Why a single bullet was hidden up there, Im not sure. Around the side of the house, when we did some landscaping and digging, we found a hole deep down, at one time one would assume it was a well. I wondered if it was from this house, or maybe a previous house stood there. Either way, how many wished could have been made there? So many hopes and dreams could be down there.
I think the most interesting part of the house though would have to be the pillow in the wall. What on earth is a pillow doing in the wall? Well I guess my parents talked and asked around, and did some research. They found out that the pillow was put in the wall for the ghosts, so that they had somewhere to rest instead of making their way in to the house and haunting it. This was so interesting, and such a cool thing to find, so when we put the new walls together we made sure that the pillow got put back in. I don't think I would want to take my chance removing it now. Who knows how many spirits I have slumbering in my walls.

1st Message Floated In From Switzerland!!!

Most days I am not a fan of checking my mail as there usually seems to be a bill of some sort looming in the mixture of useless flyers. But today, not only did I get flyers, bills, and a birthday card for my mom, but a package from SWITZERLAND! Big thank you Danielle!! I have never been so excited about mail before. But the feeling I got receiving the first package was incredible. It's amazing to see, and now be able to hold in my hands something from someone being touched by SGP from the opposite side of the world, someone whom I have never met, but have had the opportunity to chat with. It really opens my eyes even more to possibiliy and the power of inspiration. The card she sent me was beautiful as well, truly touched by it!! Again, thank you Danielle!!! Can't wait to check my mail now!