No Fear

Nerves are starting to run rampid! I have no idea why I am nervous, well I do, but I shouldn't be. I'm finishing my third and final year of my apprenticeship program, and my exams start next week; my in class college final, my third year provincial final, and my Canadian Red Seal exam on all 3 years. Being a parts technician is not really what I have in mind to be doing the rest of my life, so just as long as I pass the first two, I should be fine, but Im not. Im terrified of failing at something I dont even want to be. I should be happy to just get this behind me and start seriously looking in to film schools. Maybe that is what's scaring me, deep down I know that once I start looking for schools, that means I have to start packing my bags, and uprooting myself from my tight nit friends and family. And its just not moving north, or to the next province over. To be where I want to be is on the opposite coast, about 2534 miles from home, a 40hour drive. Just the thought of moving scares me like nothing else! Im not a big fan of change, and it's holding me back. So I think for now, I will just take the tests slowly, try and stress about only the tests, its only a test not a change of life. And Ill just keep playing this song repeatedly, the one song that helps me breath easy for a moment, one of my biggest releases. And it reminds me that Terri Clark did this very thing, uprooted herself from a small southern Alberta town, headed to Nashville, and did whatever it took to make it.

I want a road stretching out before me
I want a radio in my ear
I want a full tank of absolution
No fear

I want a rainstorm to pull me over
Then a sky that begins to clear
Towards the truest of destinations
No fear

I used to hit every wall there was
I used to run away from love
All I ever wanted was right here
But I had to reach way down inside
I had to have faith I'd find
No fear

I want the world to just keep on turning
I want the dawn in my rear view mirror
I want to hear my own voice singing
No fear

And when I need two arms around me
And theres no one near
When I'm alone let the only sound be
No fear

I used to hit every wall there was
I used to run away from love
All I ever wanted was right here
But I had to reach way down inside
I had to have faith I'd find
No fear

I want peace, Love and Understanding
A stogie and an ice-cold beer
Don't want to live afraid of dying
I used to hit every wall there was
I used to run away from love
All I ever wanted was right here
But I had to reach way down inside
I used to stay up all night long
Wondering what I was doing wrong
All I ever needed was right here
But I had to reach way down inside
I had to have faith I'd find
No fear
~Terri Clark